It is a great event when your friend, cousin or colleague gives birth to her first child. You may have been her maid of honour, one of the groomsmen or simply a good friend. Whatever the relationship is between you two, it is natural that you’d want to run and see the new arrival and wish your friend all the best. However, many say that visiting a newborn soon after the birth is not advisable. Surely this won’t apply to you as you are a good friend?

Call First!

In early times you may have bunked together. Even after her marriage, you were not so excluded that you had to call before you dropped-in. However, things change when a new member arrived. A mother is undoubtedly very tired after giving birth. She may also look quite unruly, too. Apart from an immediate family member such as her husband, partner or her mother, it might be difficult for her to face friends now;

Especially as the friends and colleagues expect to “talk” about the experience and wish her well etc. it might sound to the new mom as hard work. Which is, in fact, true. She is in no mindset to listen to your small talk or join-in with her own ideas of how difficult giving birth is! So better call and make sure things are back to normal before you suddenly drop-in to check who the new baby looks like.

Bring Something with You

Of course, we always tend to take a gift for the baby. It could be baby cots, blankets, day-to-day needs such as diapers or newborn costumes. Whatever you buy, ensure that they are suitable for a newborn. For example, babies who are only a few months old tend to swallow plastic toy parts while playing. That could be really dangerous. Some plastic raw materials might actually be harmful to babies.

Maybe the parents don’t want to have toys until the kids are of a certain age. There are many reasons to stick to some harmless, general sort-of gifts for the baby. However, when it comes to the mother, with her current situation, it would be good if you can take a small gift for her too. It will definitely raise her spirits.

Do Not Make Inappropriate Remarks 

You may have had kids; your siblings may have given birth, or you may have read stuff on the internet. Nevertheless, that is no reason whatsoever to tell the new mom “how to do this” and “how not to do that”. People do things differently; just because you used a certain brand of infant milk or your sister never allowed the baby to sleep more than two hours at a stretch, doesn’t mean that this baby and mother also have to follow suit.

Since this is a turbulent time, if you must visit them so soon, best is to give your best wishes and ask if there is anything you can help with. She probably has a mountain of clothes to wash and her kitchen may need some cleaning!

It is wonderful to witness a new life arriving and taking shape in this world. However, the process is so delicate that you have to tread carefully when intruding upon the mother-and-baby space so soon after the recent event.

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